The Final Good News

I saw a wonderful flyer promoting a contest for a home visit from the world famous author Robert Munsch. I thought the format they used was wonderful. So below you can see the format for the contest and after that looked how I adapted it.

THE GOOD NEWS
Robert Munsch could visit you at home.

THE BETTER NEWS
It’s for free!

THE EVEN BETTER NEWS
You get to invite eight to 12 children.

THE BAD NEWS
You can only enter the contest once.

THE WORSE NEWS
There is only one winner.

THE EVEN BADDER WORSE NEWS
It’s only on January 19, 2008.

THE REALLY BAD, EVEN WORSER, TERRIBLE, LOUSY NEWS
He’ll have to leave.

THE ALMOST FINAL GOOD NEWS
Your favourite public library or literacy group also gets a visit.

THE FINAL GOOD NEWS
Your family wins a trip to Great Wolf Lodge, Niagara Falls, Ontario.

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How to Create Your Own Blog Workshop

THE GOOD NEWS
You can learn how to create your own blog.

THE BETTER NEWS
You can make one in one short afternoon!

THE EVEN BETTER NEWS
It's free to come to this workshop.

THE BAD NEWS
There's only room for 12 people, so sign up now.

THE WORSE NEWS
It is only being held on one day, January 19.

THE EVEN BADDER WORSE NEWS
Only one person will win a customized blog consultation with the guru of blogs!

THE REALLY BAD, EVEN WORSER, TERRIBLE, LOUSY NEWS
We won't be running another one until May.

THE ALMOST FINAL GOOD NEWS
You get a free cd disc of artwork you can use on your blog.

THE FINAL GOOD NEWS
Lunch is on us, pizza, soda and pastries.


So you see how you can introduce new ideas and lure people in with this format.

Cool Inventions

Here are some of the coolest, funny inventions. See if you would actually use any of them. This might be good to illustrate creativity in your workshop.

My personal favourite:

LOCK-CUP

Lock Cup - Anti-Theft Coffee Cup. Are you tired of others stealing your coffee cup? Well now there’s a solution. The Lock - Cup has a hole which prevents most people from using it. Only the owner of the cup can use his/hers shaped key to close the hole.

Check out more of them at:

http://fwdemails.com/2007/11/24/cool-inventions/

Alternative Meanings

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:

Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.